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Last updated on July 13, 2021

Serves: Technically 8 people, but really 1
Calories: Probably a lot, idk, but it’s quarantine so whatever


** IMPORTANT: see notes for ingredient info **

  • 1 Package of oreos (get 2 packages to snack later on)
  • 4 Tbsp of Earth Balance Butter
  • 1 container of Kite Hill Plain Cream  Cheese
  • 1 cup of Peanut Butter
  • ⅓ cup of Powdered Sugar
  • 2 Tsp of Vanilla Extract
  • (Optional) 1 Tsp of Cinnamon
  • (Optional) So Delicious Lite Whipped Cream
  • (Optional) Guittard Extra Dark Chocolate Chips


  • Prep: 45
  • Decorate: 10
  • Time to chill: 2 hours
  • Disclaimer: prep and decorate time is skewed because I’m usually yelling at dogs to get out of the kitchen 

Items needed

  • 8” pie tin 
  • For crust: Food Processor or plastic bag and blunt object
  • 2 large bowls
  • Shmedium sized whisk or fork
  • Tastebuds


** IMPORTANT: see notes for info **

  1. Crust
    • In a food processor**, put roughly 15 Oreos and close it. More Oreos = thicc ass crust 
    • Crush oreos until they are in a fine crumble. 
    • Soften butter in microwave for 10 seconds 
    • In a large bowl combine butter and the Oreos 
    • Add mixture in pie tin and use hands to evenly press mixture to form crust
    • Leave in fridge to cool while making filling
  1. Filling
    • In a separate large bowl combine peanut butter, cream cheese, vanilla extract, and (Optional) cinnamon and use whisk to whip or use a hand mixer
    • After a few minutes it should be light and easy to maneuver.  
    • Begin to add  in powdered sugar while slowly whisking (see decorating for optional add-ons )
    • Taste test! A good rule of thumb for all baking is if it doesn’t taste good now, it won’t when it’s done. The fridge doesn’t magically change your flavor unless you forget it in there for a few weeks… then it will change color.. and also grow a few extra fuzzy nutrients…. this not recommended, nor safe for consumption. Don’t eat mold.
    • If it’s sweet enough you can move to the next step, if it’s not, add more sugar and peanut butter in small increments until it’s to your liking

  2. Final Steps
    • Put filling in pie tin and spread evenly across crust
    • If the sides of the crust begin to come off, it’s ok! Mold it back as best you can. Once it chills it will harden all together and will be easy to cut into
    • After decorating throw (not literally) in fridge and leave to cool for at least 2 hours
    • Top with whipped cream (the best part in my opinion) and devour. Share with no one

  3. Decorating
    • This step is optional. I melted a handful of chocolate chips in the microwave, stirring every 10 seconds until they’re liquidy and then used a spoon and drizzle across the pie
    • Other ways of decorating can be to make it look nice or to cover up your fuckups. Everything looks better covered in chocolate. EVERYTHING. Or crumble additional oreos on top or in the filling, drizzle peanut butter,  sea salt, chocolate chips, sprinkles, do all of these?! Leave as is?! Whatever you want! Do it up, boo boo. 


  • Earth Balance Soy Free is the brand I use, but you can get the original or whipped, it doesn’t matter. Or you can use regular butter. Not margarine or vegan margarine (i.e. I can’t believe it’s not butter). much like a bad skin care routine, it’s too oily. 
  • Again, Kite Hill Plain Cream Cheese is the brand I use, but can be subbed for another kind; including non vegan. However, it’s important to make sure to not get chive and onion like ya girl did the first time and play it off like I actually got it for bagels (which we also didn’t have).
  • For this recipe I would recommend using any Peanut Butter that already has added sugar aka, no stir. This helps with having to add less sugar which gives it a grainy texture. Using an all natural peanut butter will be very oily and once in the fridge will actually end up rising to the top or not sticking to the crust. I used Jiffy each time and it works perfectly. 
  • I hate crunchy peanut butter, but if that’s your thing, do it up homie. Doesn’t change anything except getting peanuts stuck in ya fillings.
  • I use golden brown sugar, but this can be subbed for coconut sugar, stevia, or cane sugar. Note that cane sugar wont dissolve as smoothly, so may change the texture a bit. Feel free to use any of them or mix and match. Do not use a liquid sweetener.
  • Guittard Chocolate Chips are my favorite and I hide them from my partner because we’ll eat the whole bag in a sitting. However this can be subbed for other brands / flavors like white chocolate or peanut butter and will not affect the consistency of the recipe. If buying this brand, it’s the red metallic bag with 63% cacao. 
  • If you don’t have a food processor like us, cause it’s bulky and annoying to store and I would only use it like 4 times a year, you can place oreos in a sealable bag (a plastic grocery bag works too, just fold over to close) and put on top of a folded towel on the counter. Using a blunt utensil like a meat tenderizer, go ham (get it? ham lol) and crush the Oreos. Just make sure the air is out of the bag or otherwise you’ll air cannon oreo pieces everywhere.

Thank you for reading!

Follow On Instagram | @allthingssadgirl
Author | Chelsea Matsumonji @thechelseam

One Comment

  1. Abby
    Abby March 3, 2021

    This looks delish. Like I want this right now

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